As I am entering my last few weeks of pregnancy I have to write down my thoughts! First can I say I really enjoy being pregnant! I think it's a miracle, it's beautiful and amazing! I don't like to complain very much because HELLO... I did decide to do this. It for sure is not so comfortable at times and makes things more difficult, but it is so amazing. It's funny when your pregnant for the second time how it can be different. Things that I recall being such a big deal the 1st time around, really isn't that big of deal. For example...going to the bathroom ALL the time...during the day, at night...ALL the time and this time it doesn't seem to be as much of an issue at all. Not saying that I don't pee all of the time but just doesn't seem to come up on my radar. That could be because I'm at home where as before I was working and maybe it just stuck out more to me. Another WONDERFUL thing is that I'm still sleeping fairly well. I do wake up to go to the bathroom and at 6:30am I feel ready to get up for the day but I stay in bed because I don't want to wake Max up and I know that in a month I will wish I could be sleeping more. Because this could be our last pregnancy I am really trying to ENJOY the MOMENT even though I'm very, very ANXIOUS to meet Cole I also love carrying him inside and feeling him move...I LOVE IT. I am enjoying my final weeks with just Max and knowing that my attention will not be as much on him in the coming weeks as it is currently...I want to make it count today. People keep asking me "Aren't you ready to get him out" and to be honest with both pregnancy's I didn't and don't feel that way because I know life will be so different on the other side. Plus because I'm not miserable I just don't feel the urge to rush or to get him out at all. I'm very grateful for that and do realize that any day that could all change too as Cole gets more crowded inside. I do get very anxious to see how my labor is going to start and how it will all end up. I didn't enjoy the pain of labor, but the experience was INCREDIBLE! Going through labor and hearing Maxwell's first cry and getting to see him will always be ONE of the TOP highlights and most special moments in my life and I'm thrilled to go through it all again. I'm very EXCITED to see Max be a big brother and how he gets along with Cole...when he is born and through life in general. I think he will be a great big brother!
There are concerns though...I won't lie. I am hoping there are no complications and I continue to pray for a healthy delivery and child. I hope nursing goes well again if not better...you just never know until you are doing it. Losing the weight, though I did it last time...2 kids will make it more of a challenge. I hated how I felt about myself (self image stuff)...the hormones probably didn't help either and so I'm really hoping that this time around it will be better. I am worried I will feel guilty for Max and that he will feel sad, I know that will pass and it's a natural progression but it is still hard for me to think he will feel sad and then on top of that if he acts out more...aghhh...scary to think about. When you have one child they are your only concern and I loved that when Max was born it was all about him. I could sleep when he slept and there really wasn't much to worry about besides him and his needs and two kids...well that changes that whole routine! No sleeping when Cole sleeps because Max will be awake! I know many mothers have done it and continue to do it which is a relief since they seem to make it through the day and survive so I know I can do it, just the unknown is scary. I'm sure it will be like it was with Max, totally unknown and slowly it will become just a normal routine and normal life! Everything new in life takes adjustment and that is what this is.
Megs and Railene
Getting ready to take the group picture
Max likes to get down and talk to the animals...it was cracking me up.
The Zoo's Monkeys....
